Life sometimes seems cruel and unfair when it makes us go through heartache of losing someone we love. Their death may be due to old age, illness, an accident, suicide or murder. Each of these circumstances is going to generate different feelings of emotional turmoil inside us.
Losing someone is very painful emotionally, mentally and can also have an impact on our physical health.
Emotionally we could feel very low, sad and upset. We may find ourselves ‘withdrawing’ from the world. Loosing self-esteem during these times is very common. We could also lose our confidence and our self-esteem.
Mentally we may keep thinking about our loved one that we have lost, our relationship with them, and how much we miss them.
Physically we can start to feel tired, lethargic, lack of energy and enthusiasm. Aches and pains may develop along with other illnesses. This is often a result of not looking after ourselves, as we get deeper into grief.
During this grieving process, some people throw themselves in to their work or other areas of life for a sense of distraction. At this point I want to say that it is VERY important to grieve. Grieving is not a sign of weakness in any way. It could be one of the most painful experiences one could be going through and it evokes a lot of feeling in us. It is also ok to miss and remember your loved one you have lost no matter what the relationship was like.
The 5 main stages of grieving
Shock & Denial: It is hard to believe that your loved one is not with you anymore no matter in what circumstances. It can one of the most shocking experiences of being having them with us one minute and then they are no longer around. Although we are aware that it will happen to us all one day, still, it is hard to come to terms with the reality of it happening to our loved ones.
Anger: We could feel very angry towards the person who has gone for leaving us like this. We could also be angry with ourselves, as we may feel guilty for not doing enough, not caring enough. If any issues between them and us had not be resolved this may increase this anger with ourselves. If you have a belief in God, you can also feel anger towards God for taking our loved one so soon or in the circumstances they have gone.
Bargaining: We then want to bargain for bringing them back so we can make amends, do more and take good care of them. We promise ourselves to be different and be more loving and caring if they just come back.
Depression: We could feel depressed, feeling low, upset and sad. A lack of energy may slow us down and make us feel unmotivated, resulting in losing interest in life at this point we could start withdraw from people or activities we used to enjoy. Depression often results when we suppress our thoughts, feelings and emotions towards the person we have lost.
Acceptance: The final stage of grief is acceptance. We start to accept that the person has gone and will never come back. At this point we find ways to say good-bye to our loved one or bring some closure to what has happened. Moving on will be difficult, but it will help us cope and remember the importance of taking care of ourselves.
Remember that grieving is a process, allowing yourself to go through each step in your own time is a very important part of coping with the death of a loved one.
Please now take a moment to breathe and have a think about the tips below to help you over the next few days, weeks, months and years.
Tips to manage yourself through the grieving process:
I am sure every day will be different for you and you will not always be able to think of the above tips in a positive way, but please take not of these and place it somewhere you can refer to when you feel you are ready.
I also know that it can be difficult to speak to friends or family during periods of grief and also many months and years on. Many have found it helps to seek out a professional to talk over their feelings.
If you feel you need some more help as you go through the grieving process, I am here to help. You can read more about me and how I work HERE.
If it’s right for you, simply click HERE and make contact and I will contact you as soon as I can.
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