It is very common for some people to feel that they are not able to talk about what is going on for them and how they are feeling. People can feel that if they talked about what is happening to them with their friends and family, work colleagues and managers, they could start to be judged. The common worry is “What will they think of me?”.
Why we bottle things up
The fear of being seen as weak or having something wrong can seem very real to many people. There may be expectations to “Keep Quiet and Carry On” and as the old saying goes “Stiff upper lip”. You may be aware of these phrases yourself.
Holding many people back is the feeling of shame around not being able to cope or manage by themselves and feel that if they spoke about how they felt they will be looked down upon.
Bottling things up however, could cause a lot of insecurities, anxieties and stress. If you were not able to manage these feelings and it carried on for a while, it could lead to you feeling low and depressed.
Why does talking about things help?
It doesn’t need to be as we have talked about above. It is very important to talk about your thoughts and feelings so that you can get help in understanding what is going on. It is also important to understand why you feel the way you do. You may be then able to see things from a different perspective.
It is okay to talk to someone about how you feel, to at least try and start to make sense of what is happening. The results of these conversations can produce some solutions to your problems and difficult situation that are arising for you.
When you speak about how you feel, you may realise you are not the only one who might be feeling this way. Hearing other people’s experiences first hand helps, as you start to find out what helped and worked for them, meaning you could try these suggestions.
When talking to friends and family doesn’t feel like a good option
If you feel it would not be okay to speak to your friends or family about how you feel you can think about the option of speaking to a professional Counsellor or Psychotherapist.
The benefits of doing this is that they will listen and try to understand you and your situation in a completely confidential space without judgment, helping you to understand why you feel the way you do.
This can help you to look at things from a different perspective and together find some coping mechanisms. The practitioner will also help you to find your own solutions and help you understand yourself better. Its not always easy to take this step, but it could mean the difference of getting negative feelings and anxieties off your chest, ready to face whatever is in front of you.
The next time you feel like bottling things up, think about this blog and try to take action to talk about your feelings.
If you feel this blog has spoke to you and you feel you would like some more help, please click on my contact button and get in touch.
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