Are You Confrontational?

​Confrontation is often seen in such negative light. Confrontation is strongly associated with shouting, screaming, fighting and aggression. It can also be seen as upsetting someone or making someone angry and therefore assumed as a negative interaction, when the intent of the confrontation was to simply put our point of view across.
 
To an extent this may be true, but let’s look at it a bit more closely.
 
Of course, confrontation can take place when there are opposing ideas where our ego can come in the way and we feel the need to defeat the other party.  This can get out of hand depending on the passion that both parties put into proving their points or in winning their arguments.  It may also show how strongly they believe in their views.
 
So, let’s look at the consequences of confrontation, that end with aggression:

• It damages self-esteem of the person who feels defeated
• Feelings of embarrassment and anger can surface and may make a person do or say something regrettable
• It can spoil relationships

 
Are these arguments worth having? Even if you win the argument, at what cost?
 
So, how can we deal with confrontation?

• Be open to different perspectives
• Accept that you don’t have to be right or win the argument/point of view
• Listen and try to understand what the other person is trying to say
• Don’t listen to respond… listen to understand
• Stay calm and take turns in expressing your views
• Remember, it is not about winning all the time, it is about being open minded to different views and perceptions
• Keep your ego in check and think about why you are so passionate about your views
• Be rational and logical
• Bear in mind that you don’t have to agree, but you can accept that it is their view and they are entitled to it
• It is not a competition

 
Has this made sense? Do you feel that it has resonated with you in any way?
 
If you wish to learn more about how to manage the confrontational part of you or if you are afraid of confronting someone, click on contact page to make that initial appointment.

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