At some point we all find difficult to communicate 'NO" to something or someone even when we don't want to say yes.
Have you ever ended up saying yes instead of No and regretted it? Or been angry at yourself for not able to say no? Of course, sometimes we have to say yes depending on the situation.
But, why do we feel we cannot say no?
Here are possible reasons why:
Perhaps, so many times you wanted to say no because you really were not able to help at that time. However, because you couldn't communicate "No", you ended up sacrificing your time, energy and pleasure.
It is great that we like to help others and be kind to people but it is also important for us to be kind to ourselves first in order for us to have energy for others. It helps to stop and think whether we actually do have the time and energy, emotionally or physically to say yes.
It would also help to check out if the person whom you are trying to help is really helpless. Is their need less urgent, or is it an emergency? Check and see if they really have no one else who could help when you don't have the time or energy.
You can check if they are being lazy and finding easy way out by asking you to do things for them. It may be that you are helping them stay dependent.
Remember that by saying "NO" you might be helping them to become independent and self-reliant.
Think about what would you be sacrificing by saying "Yes" when you really should be saying "NO". Also think about the impact on you and your loved ones, would you end up neglecting your own needs?
I hope this has empowered you to reflect why you are not able to say "No". Please remember it is really ok to say "NO".
Now the question is how to say no without using the word "NO"!
Here are 5 ways:
- I would love to help but I have a lot on my own plate so I won’t be able to this time
- Thank you for thinking of me but I have plans to do other things so I will not be able to join
- It sounds interesting but it does not seem like my kind of thing so I will pass
- Have you tried doing it yourself? If you can tell me where you are stuck, I might be able to guide you but won’t be able to do it for you
- I wish I could help, but I am in middle of something. Have you tried asking someone else?
These are just a very few examples. If you wish to learn more about how to say no and build your confidence, contact me and I will help you through.
If you feel you need assistance in exploring your feelings and thoughts, as well as working through the